


Nobodies: Deltarune Suselle Fanfiction.

by eden_vhs



Category: Deltarune (Video Game), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Deltarune - Freeform, Deltarune Fanfiction, Deltarune Spoilers, Deltarune Susie, F/F, Fanfiction, Fluff, LGBTQ, LGBTQ Female Character, Lesbian, Romance, mental health, noelle holiday - Freeform, relationships, suselle, susie x noelle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24941527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eden_vhs/pseuds/eden_vhs
Summary: Susie, a tall, ominous girl whose sole reason of living is to bully, and Noelle, the small, timid child who happens to join the new school. Unfortunately one day, their paths meet, and disasters after disasters strike, but will this juxtaposing pair cross paths on better terms once more? Delve into the minds of the two girls, and their not-so perfect lives.Warning!This contains foul language, mental health and mentions of abuse!
Relationships: Noelle Holiday & Susie
Comments: 17
Kudos: 19





	1. The New Kid

**Author's Note:**

> \- The events within Deltarune the game itself did not occur anywhere within this fanfiction.  
> \- Kris did not attend this class yet, only a few months after this fanfiction takes place.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems as if it were an average school day of doing nothing at all at school for Susie, until upon entering the classroom, she sees the new kid, Noelle. This is where the story begins.

**Susie’s perspective.**

The bell rang in the girls ears, a sound she heard every single day at the exact same time every single day, but yet she ignored that bell on purpose. Being on time was something Susie never did, and never got in trouble for. She’d just look at old Alphys and she’d start sweating. How cowardly. See, Susie wasn’t the type of girl to be messing with. Her height, for starters, was stupidly tall, towering over most teachers at the damned school, and sometimes she has to bend down to get in classes, which would have been embarrassing if she were someone else. But of course, Susie was the bully of the place. No one dared to even step foot anywhere _near_ her. Not even if she was doing something bad, like what she was doing now, which was stealing chalk from the cabinet of another empty classroom. She wasn’t stealing it to write with, oh no, chalk was in fact her favourite snack to have. Especially the strawberry ones. So she took one, and bit it in half, concealing the box in her front trouser pocket. She sighed, “Suppose it's time to pay that Alphys and her dumb class a visit.” she grumbled, closing the door and trudging along to class. Closer and closer the door came, closer the noise was. “Huh, looks like Alphys here cant keep her classroom quiet. Better teach those twerps a lesson or two about being quiet for ya teacher.” she laughed to herself before swinging the door open, and what greeted her was silence, scared staring classmates…

And a new kid.

Huh. “Psssht. She looks like an absolute nerd to me.” she thought, before shooting the new kid a look, before sitting in her seat at the back of the class. The small teacher, standing behind her desk, looked as if she were sweating. “W-well… as I-I was eerr, _saying-_ Um, welcome our new classmate, Noelle Holiday!” Alphys stuttered, clearly still shocked by Susie’s grand entrance. The girl who’s name apparently was Noelle, didn’t seem so shocked, just nervous, looking down at her feet, extremely red in the face. Susie leaned back in her chair, one foot on the desk, raising an eyebrow. “This kid ain’t gonna survive a _day_ if she even tries talking to me.” Susie muttered to herself, chuckling quietly. “H...Hey everyone..” Noelle squeaked, “Erm, M-my name is Noelle a-and i um, i really like writing. Hope w-we can a-all be friends.” she waved rather awkwardly, as the class, of course other than Susie, said hello back. She just rolled her eyes, averting her eyes elsewhere. Well, there wasn’t much to look at, just poorly plastered walls and white plain ceiling. There were windows but today wasn’t as nice as the last, it was all grey and dreary outside, clouds looming over the city like a blanket. Sounds like it will most likely rain soon. 

“Erm, w-why don’t you take the umm e-empty seat next to Susie? I-I heard y-you are great at helping people with their work, so um… perhaps Susie could need some help in the f-future?” Alphys anxiously looked between Noelle and Susie, laughing a little nervously too, gesturing Noelle to walk to her seat. The class quietly muttered between each other, watching Noelle walk towards the desk rather sheepishly, as if she were walking towards literal death itself, though Susie was sometimes compared like that, compared to others. It was something she got used to, something that never really bothered her. Though what did bother her was the fact that Alphys likes to think that Susie _wants_ the kid’s help. She didn’t get a say at all. But she just stared at the girl walk towards the seat, before looking back to the front of the classroom. 

And there was the second bell, meaning class had officially started. Another dumb wasted day full of pointless shitty lessons, which obviously, Susie was gonna—as always—do absolutely nothing in. Waiting for the bell for lunchtime. Until then, she would lean against the wall on her chair and wait, listening to rain which began to gradually patter softly against the window. 

…

And there it was, eventually it came around, and everyone walked out of their seats and into the cafeteria to eat, except Susie of course. She stomped along to the empty classroom again, as she usually did. It was peaceful there, oddly enough. Even brutes like her liked the peace and quiet sometimes. She shut the door, and walked to the old teacher's seat. She always found it weird that teachers got better seats than the students, even though students would do all the work. Surely the students were better than them? Susie liked to think that, that she was better than everyone else, because she _is_ in her mind. Everyone was just pebbles beneath her feet. No one gave a shit and/or was scared _shitless_ of her, so why should she care about those fools? She sighed again, sitting on the windowsill, watching the rain. It was nice, to be honest. Soothing. Rain was her favourite weather, besides thunderstorms. Just sitting there, _listening_ to something for once. She was never angry during those times, she was calmed by the soft pitter patter against the windows and on the concrete roads. Sometimes, she’d sneak outside to sit in the rain at night. She’d gain attention just sitting there, with no hood on in the rain, but did she care? No, of course not. So she sat, looking rather bored watching the grey clouds slowly move across the skyline.

That is until the door opened, and the petite figure of the new kid, Noelle stepped in the classroom, shyly shuffling on her feet.

Susie exhaled heavily in annoyance, standing up, looking at the girl. “So. You’re the new kid, huh.” Walking over to a desk near Noelle, leaning against it. “A-are you supposed to be here..?” Noelle mumbled, still looking down. Susie angrily replied with, “No. Why does it matter, twerp?” folding her arms. “What, ya gonna run to old Alphys and tell of me, squirt? Now listen here, she ain’t gonna do shit, and _you. YOU_ ain’t gonna do shit either, capiche?” she walked over, standing directly in front of her, looking down at her in annoyance and anger. “Got anything to say, huh?” she tilted her head, watching Noelle’s cheeks flare, her body scrunch up and shake in fear. Suddenly, Susie got closer, muttering, “I know you don’t know me, and trust me, you should be glad ya don’t but…” her hand grabbed Noelle by her checkered jumper and slammed her against the door. Susie’s piercing yellow eyes looked down at Noelle, full of vexation, growling:

“ _Quiet People PISS me off.”_

“And do you know what..” she chuckled, “You are _really_ pushin’ your luck here. Not even a yelp, huh? I give ya a week kid, and you’re outta this place.” Susie noticed Noelle’s teary eyes, shaky body and very red and embarrassed face and loosened up a little, letting go of the girl. “You’re lucky that I actually _do_ have a heart and didn’t bite your face off.” she backed away, turning around and opening a box of chalk and picking out a blue piece of chalk, biting it in half. “Just get outta my sight squirt. Don’t even try coming in here ever again, ya got that?” she grunted. After a few seconds, she heard the door shut, and no Noelle in sight. Susie sighed. sitting on the desk, staring at her hands. Even though she _was_ an emotionless brute of a girl, she did feel bad for the new kids. They were fresh meat, easy to pick on, needing to be taught lessons. But that kid didn’t even fight _back._ Didn’t even yelp in fear, just bottled her feelings inside. What, did she think she was _better_ than her? Psht. There was no way in hell. But for a few moments Susie felt confused, the kid seemed odd, seemed different. She didn’t know what it _was._ Just… A gut feeling. Perhaps she shouldn’t have done that—No. She should have. She disturbed her, right? Ghn.. 

Jolting her back to reality was the bell, indicating the last lessons of the day would begin, then it was time to head back home, the same thing she did everyday. Great. She snarled at the ringing sound, banging the empty classroom door open, disturbing some younger kids who were making their way across the opposite way Susie was heading. Back to class. 


	2. Project Partners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoooo boy, prepare for the angst people because its going to come sooner or later. I am pretty proud of this chapter to be fair!! It was a joy to write even if i was in blazing hot heat where I am in England. Anyways, comments are majorly appreciated, happy reading! 
> 
> Chapter Three: Mind Games. [COMING SOON]

**Noelle’s perspective.**

First days are always terrifying, it's pretty much common knowledge, but Noelle felt as if she experienced that on a whole new level. People tend to tease you when you're the new kid, probably whisper about you behind your back. But has anyone been slammed into a door by someone before?! Noelle was now terrified going back to school, knowing that she had to sit next to the very girl who did that.

Susie… That was her name, right?

Susie was tall, at the very least double the size of herself, and her hands were abnormally large, most likely used to beat new kids to the ground if they got in her way…. She shook her head, snapping out of her daze, only to find herself in a seat behind a desk. Oh right. She was already in school. Next to her was obviously Susie, feet up on the desk leaning back on her chair in the same fashion as yesterday. It was puzzling to Noelle why she would never do work. It wasn’t all bad, but that might just be her and her ”nerdy brain” as people liked to call it. She got teased by a few people yesterday, though most were welcoming to Noelle’s surprise. She was even able to get to sit by a few people at lunchtime, until she went in the wrong classroom then… Well, that happened.

But when she left, there was something… odd. Before she left, through the door window, she saw her, looking at her claws in what seemed to be annoyance and anger, though it seemed regret was also woven in on the expression of her face. It seemed there was a hint of humanity and resent inside the seemingly “emotionless bully,” Then again, how could she be so sure? Noelle hardly knew her, other than the fact that she was absolutely terrifying. Susie could have just been angry with her, maybe she hurt her hand? Hmm.. Nevermind that now, she had a lesson to concentrate on.

“S-so for this term… W-we decided w-we were doing projects t-this term, didn’t we? A-and to avoid what happened l-last time… I-ill be choosing the t-teams!” An audible groan could be heard from all of the students, obviously wanting to be put with their friends. And that was the problem precisely. She hadn’t made any friends yesterday, only acquaintances, they just said hello to her and told her to sit at their table, making small talk. No one was properly friends with her, so whoever she was paired with, she would most likely not know anything about them, or they wouldn’t like her. Or she was chosen to be paired up with Susie, and everyone knew how that would go down. Miss Alphys began to read pairings from a piece of paper whilst Noelle sat there, looking rather anxious.

“...Berdly is w-with Monster Kid,  
and… Noelle… y-you’re with...Susie…”

Of course. Of course. Why wouldn’t she be paired with Susie?! The only person that showed her hostility and hatred yesterday, in a class of around 20 students, was her project partner. Noelle froze, looking around at everyone staring at her in pity. Susie just sighed, looking agitated all of a sudden. “...Alright.” she muttered, turning towards Noelle smiling fakely, almost threateningly, her yellow eyes glowing with mischief and smugness. Noelle herself was bright red in the face, like holly, both in frustration and embarrassment. She didn’t want to be beaten into the ground by her, but there was a chance where she wouldn’t even do anything, both about the project and beating Noelle into the ground. Dozens of worries and thoughts swarmed her mind like a wasps nest, stinging her with scenarios which were most likely not going to happen. But then again, this was Susie she was thinking about. Everyone seemed so hesitant to even approach her, anything could happen. So, Noelle just nodded silently. This would definitely not end well.

…

Finally. The end of the day eventually rolled around, and Noelle began to pack her things from her desk. The project was about weather, as Alphys says. Would be an interesting topic to create a project on, she thought. Anyways, now school was over, it was time to see her father in the hospital. See, her father had been very sick for a long time, it was always hard for Noelle to watch him become more and more ill by the day. She’d study at home whenever it got to her, which was too often for comfort. Even when she was at home, she would be pretty lonely. Her mother, being the mayor and all, was never really around for Noelle at all, but she understood, she had things more important to do. Thinking about it, Noelle didn’t have an exciting life at all. Every day was the same. Wake up, go to school, visit her dad and wait till her mother comes home from work if Noelle forgot her keys that day, which happened more often than not. Sometimes, Noelle would make up scenarios in her head, pretending she was someone else, living a more exciting and less upsetting life. It was something she did to pass the time in the hospital from time to time if things got too boring to handle. It would comfort her, but the lingering thought in the back of her head grew the more she did it. “Nothing will change, nothing will ever get better, because I am Noelle. I am a loser, a loner, a nerd.”

“I, Noelle, am a nobody. That's all i ever will be.”

Oh god, now she could feel the waterworks coming, prickling her eyes with tears of sadness and anger. “Not in public, Noelle.. Wait till your home, stupid!!” She timidly walked down the road to the hospital, head down as she choked back tears that stung her hazel eyes. She didn’t want to run, she’d look like a fool, but if she stood out in the open any longer chances are she’d burst into tears, so instead she walked silently, biting the inside of her mouth, wincing at the small pain of it, that is until the low, growling familiar voice of someone close behind her made her heart pump out of her chest from fright.

“Well look who it is, Santa’s little reindeer.”

Just looking at the shadow encasing her in black put poor Noelle on edge. Great. As things could get any worse— No. She gripped her hands, turning them into fists. No. It was time she stood up for herself for once. For once in her life she felt a concoction of confidence and adrenaline surge through her body, truly a sensation that she both loved and was certainly not familiar to. Nonetheless she had to be careful, no amount of courage could beat Susie with the pure strength she radiates. Noelle whipped her head round, backing up a little. Susie loomed over her like a skyscraper, her lips curled up into a wicked snarl, hands in her pockets. “Lucky to see my project partner here isn’t it?” Those bright yellow beads of eyes staring down at a now frightened Noelle. Seems like the confidence melted away almost instantly, but she still attempted—poorly, mind you— to stand her ground and look firm. “Wh-what are you d-doing here?” Noelle muttered, looking at Susie angrily, “H-haven’t you got s-someone else to terrorise?” Oddly enough, Susie, for a split second, looked as if she broke, her eyes widening and mouth releasing from her snarl, body tensing up until she shook herself, looking more pissed off than previously. Noelle noticed the change in expression, now looking up at her, slightly worried. Immediately she blurted out, “Oh gosh!! I-im sorry! I didn’t mean t-to say that!” covering her mouth, looking away.

“Jeez i-..” She sighed, rolling her eyes. “I wasn’t gonna hurt ya. Talk about being a wimp...” Susie muttered, folding her arms, though by the looks of it, she looked a bit stunned by Noelle’s quick apology, even her cheeks had a new, odd tint.

Huh. Well, that was certainly unexpected. “...oh..?” is all she could say. Noelle felt a rush of relief pound in her chest. She felt a little safer, though, as she said many a time previously, this was Susie. A girl who couldn’t be trusted. So, Noelle stood there awaiting a conversation to be had. Susie sighed. “I came here to tell you that, that project? I’m not doing it. You are, y’hear?” She pointed down at Noelle, a little less anger in her voice. “O...Okay.. I-It's not like I have anything better t-to do anyways… But… W-why won’t you help, t-though?” Noelle responded meekly, instantly regretting asking such a question, wincing at her idiocity. “Because I happen to have a life, and i’m not gonna sit and waste it by doing some stupid project about whatever.” She grunted, turning back round the way she came from, hands in her pockets. “Ill see you tomorrow nerd, i’ll be checking if you actually did some of it, so don’t forgeeet!” she laughed, walking away.

Are. You. Kidding Me? Noelle groaned. So on top of everything else going on in her life, she has to do an entire project by herself?? This day really did get worse, and visiting her father who was currently sick in hospital would make it harder. He got worse by the day, but he always sat there with a smile, saying all these witty things that always made her gasp and laugh. That's the only time where Noelle would feel free. Where she’d feel happy. But it wouldn’t last long, these things never did.

Nevertheless, she trudged along to the hospital, and as usual, expecting the worst, as she usually did. Being positive was something she faked, every single day, but to put it bluntly, she was just pessimistic, scared, alone. Just the new kid, the one everyone seemed to pretend to like, only to snicker behind her back, joke about her appearance, her behaviour, how she’d do so much work all the time. She’s just someone in the background, only there to fill up empty seats in the classroom, the last to be picked for a team, the one sitting alone all day in the library at lunch time. At least that's what her brain convinced her to be. No one. She sighed, feeling the familiar sense of dread on her shoulders from earlier, eyes growing small tears at the corners.

She really was a nobody. And it would remain that way.


	3. Mind Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susie had returned from school after an... encounter with Noelle. Now these odd feelings are plaguing her mind.
> 
> ...What is this feeling?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT I DID IT I FINALLY FINISHED THE CHAPTER!
> 
> God i am so sorry for the wait. Past few weeks have been pretty... interesting. Im proud of this chapter, its probably my favourite chapter yet. Exploring Susie’s character and mindset is so fun to me. Anyways- Noelle’s next! And im gonna try not to spoil it to much, all im going to say is im sorry in advance. :)

Chapter **3: Mind Games [Susie’s Perspective.]**

_ 7:23PM Tuesday 13th December 201X. _

_ “I-I’m sorry!” _

_... _

_ “I didn’t mean to say that!” _

_... _

_ “i'm sorry!!” _

She didn’t understand. Why couldn’t she understand. Why was she apologising? Why was she saying that she didn’t mean it? And why… Why did the expression on Noelle’s face hurt her so much? Like she was looking in a mirror? So many questions, such little understanding. Susie sat slumped over her unmade bed, looking down at her hands, twiddling her thumbs. A cross, annoyed expression rested upon her face, the thoughts in her mind not making any sense. They hurt her head,  _ she _ had hurt her head. Noelle…

What did she  _ do  _ to her?

Was this remorse? The regret, resting upon her head like a tonne of bricks, slowly breaking its way to her mind? No. That’s crazy talk. This has never happened to her before, so  _ why  _ is it beginning now?! It shouldn’t be happening. None of this should be real. Noelle was just a kid, a pebble beneath Susie’s feet, right? A sinking feeling rests within her chest, her head becoming fuzzy purely from the amount of second guesses and self doubts her mind was plaguing her with. Susie, on the outside, was this emotionless shell, someone who could, quite easily, beat you into the ground with one fist. She’d tower over most teachers easily, and students clearly feared her. Over the years she had gained a reputation as hands down  _ the  _ scariest student within the entire school. Her parents were often notified, but it's not like that  _ did  _ anything. Susie’s parents didn’t care, therefore she didn’t care. Simple as. It’s not like Susie was going to  _ do  _ anything particularly special in her life. Probably just settle for a retail job, like her parents did. Besides, she was on her last strike, then she’d be expelled forever. With how much she hated the school, it wouldn’t be a surprise if she would do some real carnage and get kicked out on purpose, but that was the thing. She couldn’t leave somewhere where she had gained such...reputation, and go into a new school being the “new kid.” She’d end up like…  _ No, get her out of your head Susie.  _ Just the thought of her made her head hurt. It was ridiculous— _ Susie _ felt ridiculous. Feeling remorse and guilt was something weaklings like  _ her _ felt. But secretly, deep down, she did feel that same weak feeling. It was foreign, it ached, making her body quiver. She hadn’t felt such pain before, so why would it start on specifically  _ her?! _ Noelle wasn’t any different from anyone else. She was just the new kid. A nobody. 

It was all so… Ugh. So fucking  _ confusing.  _ She hated it, she hated this feeling, she hated  _ her  _ most of—no, maybe that was too harsh..? ” _ Of course its not to fucking harsh _ , get a load of yourself. This isn’t you, Susie.” she muttered, flopping back and curling up to her side on her squeaky bed, staring at the torn murky wallpaper. Clear scratches, tears and small holes could be seen in the wall and the wall paper. Running her hand along a tear, she moved to plop her head on the slightly damp and stained pillow. Eyes becoming heavy she began to sleep. Sleep, other than being in the rain, was the only form of soothing. An escape. 

  
  


_ 1:28AM, Wednesday 14th December 201X. _

  
  


She jolted up immediately, gripping at her sweaty pajamas, her breathing abnormally fast, heart pounding against her chest. That wasn’t the worst of it, oh no. She was  _ crying. _ Someone as supposedly scary and as intimidating as herself should never cry. The tears streaming like waterfalls down her hot cheeks. She tried to stop it, but it kept going, getting progressively worse. Stifling the sobs, she gripped a pillow, slowing down her breathing. Ugh. Another nightmare. Fright and sorrow quickly turned to anguish and fury.  _ You’re crying Susie, the third time in the span of five days. Are you… fucking serious?!”  _ Her hands clasped her knees, wrapping her arms around them for comfort. 

Truth be told, she knew deep down that this isn’t the life she wanted. These nightmares, these dreams were of her own insecurities, her fears and regrets from the past. Sometimes she thinks that these weird dreams were because she liked being tough and scary, but on the inside it was all bundled up into a ball, trying to be tossed out of her mind. But tonight's one was worse than any she had experienced before. The face of Noelle, her hurt expression, her flinching body, haunted her like a ghost. What…

What has she done to  _ her… _ to so many people?

Distracting herself, she checked the time on the alarm clock. “1:28AM.” Her parents were asleep most likely, they didn’t tend to check up on her very often, let alone interact with her. It's always just been herself. No one seemed to care about her existence, including herself really. Life didn’t have anything special planned for her, so what's the point in just letting fate take its course if there's nothing ready for you? She would use this power she had over others to push her way to the top. And she succeeded. But the thing is, there's only enough room for one person on the number 1 podium, and Susie… She just wanted to feel worth it. 

She wanted to feel like somebody, not a nobody. 

Soft pitter patter of rain against her rusty old window jolted her out of her half asleep, sluggish state. The sky pitch black with the occasional aircraft flying by, giving the ground a small, low rumble. Rain. A small, shaky sigh could be heard escaping Susie’s mouth, as she sat up, looking out the window with weary, exhausted eyes. Grabbing her signature grey jacket, she pulled it over herself and pushed her scrappy trainers onto her feet, and exited her room.

The hallway was dark, which Susie wasn’t the biggest fan of, making her scurry frantically along the corridor, attempting to miss the cracks and squeaks in the floors. The walls were not visible at all, the rips in the wallpaper could only be made out as blurry white blobs. Various stains were on both the walls and floor too, not the nicest environment to be in. Susie never liked her home, her parents didn’t take good care of it to be honest. It was a place she spent the least time in, often wandering around her small town, climbing and sitting in trees, lying on the fields and just being away from her home. Her parents wouldn’t bat an eyelid if she didn’t return home for a few days. A part of her liked this. She enjoyed the freedom she got, her parents not caring wasn’t always a bad thing— I mean she could get away with anything she wanted! Even if they  _ were  _ told about Susie’s mischievous acts, neither of them would bat an eye. But the other half of her was lonely. Her parents didn’t  _ care about her.  _ If she got hurt, what would they do? Nothing. Would they care if Susie was gone forever…?

She was now in the living room, the soft moonlight coming in escaping through the thin curtains draped carelessly over the windows. The room was big, a large black couch made of leather sat in front of an old, clunky TV, which emitted small white noise from its old circuitry. A small, circular rug lay in between the TV and the couch, with various liquid stains presumably by drinks Susie’s parents carried from the kitchen. Then the front door was in view, the soft sound of rain already calming her senses. As quietly as she could, she turned the key and opened it, breathing in the humid scent of rain. She was out. 

That was better, a lot better. 

Walking through the rain pouring down even without a hood was one of the best feelings in the world. The sounds, the smell, the sight of the lights catching onto the pools of water slowly taking up the space on the poorly paved sidewalk, was entrancing. Even better yet, there was nobody in sight, only the occasional stray car that slowly drove through the puddles in the road. Other than that, it was just Susie. Not like that was any different than usual, but she didn’t mind it like this. Sometimes, though, loneliness was a parasite, and it would seep into her,  making these… feelings pierce her stone cold heart. Her fatigued, mustard eyes scanned the area for somewhere relaxing to lay, until locking on to a nearby, lonesome tree on the opposite side of the road. Its leaves were gone from the bare, twisted fingers that were the twigs of the tree, gnarled like a witches hand. Upon closer inspection, it was clear that this tree was the tallest out of the abundance within the surrounding area, that were vastly less broken and twisted as this one. Despite the creepy and unsettling aura that amit from it, Susie slumped down against the wet bark, onto the grass, which was also heavily damp from the rain. No one bothered to give the girl a second glance, not that there were actually many people out in the rain at 2am on a chilly, dreary Wednesday morning. Despite all this loneliness Susie endured throughout the majority of her dull lifetime, there was nothing better than the rain, no matter how heavy, drowning out the deafening sounds of silence was always a good thing. It had become clear over the years that she had grown to be obsessed with this seemingly annoying and sometimes even frightening weather. Why? Well the truth is, she didn’t know. I mean, she didn’t know a lot of things really. A lot of her questions were often left unanswered, this one was clearly no different. Like for example, what had happened to her confidence, her boldness and dominance? She felt she had just shrivelled up into a useless sad sack within the space of two days. It was all  _ her  _ fault. 

Noelle. Man, when Susie sees her tomorrow she’s gonna-

No. Isn’t that exactly why she’s mentally in pain like this? Because Susie had clearly hurt someone, and not just Noelle and the others. Susie had hurt herself, she’s the one-the  _ only  _ one- to blame for her own actions. Right? God. Seriously, she was getting sick and tired of these stupid fucking unanswered questions that streamed through her mind day in, day out. It was tiresome, even more so than the increased lack of sleep she was getting the past few weeks. It was her own fault. Her own. A sigh came from the girl, the mist that was her breath rose in the cold, December air, like steam from a fire. But it was too late now. Everyone hated her, so what was the point in even trying to change? No one would care, they’d just become paranoid that it was just a scheme. A facade, just to get close to them then hurt them. Sure, that may have been the case not so long ago, but now? She couldn’t be sure. Nothing made sense anymore. 

Well, that's what she  _ thought. _ Until now. 

Just actually sitting there, with no distraction and actually  _ thinking _ about it shocked her. The fact that she now was starting to realise that it was all wrong. It came to her attention that she had always been in the wrong. She had to make everything okay again, even if it meant hurting herself even more. It was as if a weight of some sort was lifted off her shoulders. She knew what to do now, as if life had given her a whole new purpose, a new reason to live. She would try to be good. Despite it sounding hard, she felt a rush of adrenaline that made her blood flow through her body, travelling towards her cheeks. These feelings, she was just tricking herself, thinking as if this is the right way to climb to the top. It all made sense now. It was all just a huge mind game, and she was her own ringmaster. Now that she thought about her situation, it sounded ridiculous. Managing to convince herself to be this evil bully sounds impossible, that is at least to her. Even now, she couldn’t grasp why or what was triggering her into being so hateful. But she knew one thing, that the first person she would talk to would most likely be Noelle. It seemed that she, for some odd reason, set her off on this odd tangent. Even though most likely, apologising to her would be the hardest thing she would ever do. But it was a start.

A start of what one would call… “Redemption.”

Chapter 4: “Loved and Lost” coming soon! 


	4. Loved and Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noelle is having a rough day, and manages to be late to school, but Susie isn’t acting her usual self...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who’s back!!! Hello everyone! Its been a while and well im 15 now! 
> 
> This chapter was a joy to write, and i am currently brainstorming ideas right now for the 5th chapter. Hope you enjoy! Comments are appreciated!! <3
> 
> PS: im sorry not sorry :)

**Chapter 4: Loved and Lost [Noelles Perspective]**

  
  


_ 7:31AM Wednesday 14th December 201X _

  
  
  


Another day, another endless dragging selection of lessons she was forced to be put into by law. Yet school was a sense of escape, something to do, you know? Keeps her occupied, distracted, from everything going on in her life. A part of her wished she never existed, I mean- she was just a waste of expense, space and time really, wasn’t she? Well she was academically gifted, no doubt, but other than that, what else was she? But then again, just disappearing like that is just absurd. Life was difficult but surely there was something of hope waiting for her at the end. Or that’s what she liked to dream. Dreams aren’t real. Let's be realistic. No matter how sweet they are, how amazing your life is in your imagination, it doesn’t exist, and nine times out of ten, it never  _ will  _ exist, lets face it. And right now, Noelle’s wish was not needing to get out of bed and go to school, but alas, she needed to. You can’t exactly disobey the law, can you? 

With a heavy and prolonged sigh, Noelle’s body slumped out of the solitude that was her warm and comfortable bed, and headed for the bathroom, and did what she needed to do. After around half an hour, she walked down the stairs and headed for the kitchen, not expecting anyone to be there waiting, and not to her surprise, no one was. She had no relatives near the town, or they decided to not speak to the family again, and having siblings was out of the question. Her mother worked long shifts on a daily basis and her father was stuck in hospital, so it just came down to her, by herself. The silence echoed through the halls of the manor. The only sounds that could be heard were the small clunks of the spoon hitting against the bowl and the bitter Winter wind hitting against the large windows. Despite the weather changing, the world changing, everything was the same to her. Wake up, go to school, go to the hospital, go home, do more work and sleep, then the cycle continued. She tried to do everything with a smile, with enthusiasm, but goddamn it was so mentally draining to do that 7 days a week, 365 days a year. But, she thought, you gotta do what you gotta do to keep sane, and this was her only option. After cleaning away what she had used to eat, she grabbed her bag and went down to the school. 

She remembered what Susie had said yesterday after school, and didn’t decide to risk it and not start the project. She was up quite late doing it, putting in more effort than she had ever done before. For hours, she sat writing about weather patterns and whatnot, listening to the soft rain knock gently against the window. Completely losing track of time, she ended up staying up until 1am. Explains why she was so tired I suppose. But nonetheless, she stepped out into the dim December lighting and headed for school.

Mainly, it was silent. Not much different than she was used to, honestly. Just the biting wind and the breathing of Noelle broke the silence. Of course, it being December, various christmas themed lights hung from trees and on fences. The streets were pretty much empty, the rustle of scarce auburn leaves that barely hung on to the branches creating some form of movement to her senses. Being early had its positives, I mean there was no one in sight! Noelle being an anti-social, timid girl didn't mind this. Just her, and her imagination. In her mind, she was someone else entirely. Courageous, witty, attractive and social, all the qualities she wished she had. These got so extreme she sometimes couldn’t help herself but to write pages and pages of detailed and beautifully written stories, about this being she had created as a reflection of her dream self. But she could always simmer down and go the polar opposite and write something quite simple. Sometimes she wrote poems about a small feeling she had or a small part of her day or something that is generally quite miniscule. Nonetheless, it truly was one of her only talents. She aspired to write in any means possible as a future career one day, and live in a cosy cottage on the outskirts of town and grow her own food and…

Her daydreaming came to a sudden halt when the bell rang in the distance. She didnt even notice the hustle and bustle of other students pass her quite a bit ago, heading to school. “Almost late?!” she whispered, her eyes wide open in shock, and ran as fast as she could to the school to avoid being late to class. 

Bursting through the door was quite a messy Noelle. Her hair had frizzed up, and her collar had gone a bit lopsided, not to mention the papers in the folder she was carrying were barely hanging on to the clip. The entirety of her class stared puzzlingly at her messy state, and immediately her cheeks grew a strawberry red. But to some surprise, Susie didnt bother looking up, but instead focused on the window beside her, staring nonchalantly through the stained glass. “Noelle? W-where have you been? Its quite late for y-you… But that doesn’t matter n-now, you’ll have to go to d-detention after school ends to make up for the t-time you have missed.” 

“D...Detention…?” she thought. “I cant go to  _ detention!!”  _ Mom would definitely  _ not  _ be pleased!! I cant go!” her mind was racing, and the thought of having to be told off haunted her, making her tremble slightly, tears forming at the edge of her eyes. All she could muster was a small nod whilst silently walked to her desk, placing her things inside, keeping her head down. 

“Now then! L-lets begin our lessons shall we?” The class stayed silent, making poor Alphys laugh rather awkwardly. Noelle sighed, clearly Lady Luck was throwing her in the bin the past few days. Joining this school seemed to have started these series of unfortunate events. Seemed as things would only go downhill from here. Oh well, its not like she can change any of that. Even if she could, there would be no point. Nothing is out there for her. Nothing, no-one. Just a nobody passing by until one day, nature takes its course and she inevitably dies. But today is clearly not that day, and she needed to focus on trying not to break down into rivers of tears in a class of 20 because she got one measly detention. Small things were always big deals in her eyes, this was no exception. And so, the struggle began when the second bell rang, indicating the lesson had started. Another day of mostly pointless lessons that taught her nothing about the real world, but instead fed her information that 9 times out of 10 she’d never use again. Her heart pounding in her chest, blood rushing to her cheeks, she bit the inside of her mouth as much as she could, trying her best not to cry and focused on Alphys’ dull drivel about science. Now it was both Noelle  _ and  _ Susie who didn’t pay attention to Alphys within class. 

…

Finally. The school bell rang, and the clock hit 3pm. As usual, it went incredibly slow, but it would begin to get a lot worse. The class left and Noelle walked head down, silently with a lump in her throat to the class Alphys had told her to go to. Placing a hand onto the cold birch door, she took a deep breath and entered the class room.

For the most part, it was empty, other than a teacher, various stacks of books and aloe vera on the windowsills and… Susie? But she never had a detention? Why was she here? To terrorize her some more? Who knows. The room was silent as she stepped through, other than the faint white noise of the lightbulb and the rain once again slashing against the windows. It was furious, the rain. Thick shrouds of grey covering the sky, and puddles forming quicker than they used to, overflowing the dips in the road. 

“I wouldn’t think you of all people would be in such a place, Noelle Holiday.” Said the unknown teacher in a harsh, sarcastic voice. Noelle stopped in her tracks whilst heading for a desk. Squeezing her eyes tight shut her eyes were covered by her glossy blonde hair. Standing still for a moment, she muttered shakily, “Me neither, Ma’am. But the world is full of cruel surprises.” only to get a huff in return by the teacher who sat at her desk, tapping away at her computer. All was so eerie here. Susie didn’t even give her a second glance, but stared out through the window, not even moving. Besides all that, she sat in a desk a few away from Susie and placed her head on the desk, listening to the tap-tap-tapping of the teacher and the thunderous rain slashing violently against the glass, until she heard a door shut, and lifted her head up, to see the teacher had gone. Were they even allowed to do that? 

“Why are you even here?” 

After a few moments of silence, Noelle decided to speak up. Susie wasn’t acting her usual loud self, and to be quite honest, Noelle was concerned, even if she had just threatened her a few days prior. Yet Susie just ignored her, and continued to glare at the glass to the left of here. A small sigh of disappointment left Noelles trembly lips, as she placed her head back onto the desk. 

“I’d rather be here than home. I come here all the time.”

Noelle shot up again, whipping her head round to Susie, who lost her gaze with the window, and stared down at her thumbs, twirling them round and round themselves as she clasped the rest of her fingers together. Noelle’s eyes widened, clearly quite concerned. Something was going on, and had been going on for a long time behind the curtains that Susie held in front of her, concealing her true self from the audience, which sounded and felt incredibly familiar to Noelle. She didn’t know what to say. For once, Noelle had no advice, no suggestions. She was the smart one for God’s sake, yet she kept silent, until she remembered the project, and took it out of her red backpack and got out of her seat. Placing it gently in front of Susie, she stepped back. “I did it, like you asked.” She said, monotonously. Susie’s mustard eyes caught on the stacks of paper, but didn’t utter a word… Nothing? Are you serious?? Not a thank you, not a smile, not even a nod? Now Noelle had  _ seriously  _ had enough. The feeling from yesterday rose and pummeled through her body, but her fear had completely disappeared. 

“Not even a thank you? I… I can’t believe you. You think you’re just someone who thinks you are on top of everyone! People get hurt because of you-  _ I got hurt _ because of you. I lacked sleep last night in fear of being pummeled to the ground!! You.. You ungrateful  _ idiot!!”  _ Noelle, in a fit of fury, banged her fist onto the table in frustration, and tears almost burst through her eyes. After a little while, Susie let out a sigh, which Noelle swore she could hear shakiness. 

“Don’t you think I know that already? Whats the point in trying to change when everyone hates me regardless?” She spoke back, with the same monotone voice with a hint of sadness. Oh now Noelle  _ really  _ messed up this time. Immediately her heart began to pound out of her skin, tears forming once again for the 5th time today. 

“Oh Susie I… I’m sorry… I had no Id-“

She was interrupted by Susie… laughing? What did she think this was, some sort of damn joke? Noelle almost snapped back again, until she was stopped in her tracks. 

“Sorry? Like that's gonna change anything. I’ve already tried sorry numerous times, but everyone just ran away, told me to go away, or just flat out ignored me. The word is useless to me now. It’s not you, it’s me, so don’t even try and help me, try and change me, because I’m nothing. A no-one, a nobody, a castout. I’m not even worth your time, Alphys’ time, my parents time— _ anyone’s  _ time.” Susie’s voice got shakier as she went on. Something wasn’t right,  _ this  _ wasn’t right…

“You should just go.” Her voice sounded normal now, yet firmer. “The detention’s over. That wench couldn’t give two shits if you didn’t turn uo or not, none of them care, no one does, so just go.”

Noelle felt her heart race. This was new. She fet regret—regret for speaking up against Susie. But she did it. And my God she wished she hadn’t. Looking past her plum hair, Noelle swore that her yellow eyes were watering. 

“Oh.. Susie…” She almost placed a hand onto her shoulder until a bang startled the pair out of their skin, making them both jump and Noelle squeal in fright. It was the same teacher that was monitoring the two. Yet she didn’t look the same, but had a shocked expression upon her face, and her eyes were staring directly at Noelle’s

“Noelle you have to leave. It's an emergency.” The teacher’s voice was not sarcastic and huffy anymore, yet frantic and weary. 

“E-emergency??” Noelle’s mind raced, until she had a sudden realisation, and her expression changed to match the teacher’s. This could only mean one thing. She stood in silence, staring at the floor. It couldn’t be… surely it was something else, surely it was someone else.. He… Cant…

“I’m sorry Noelle… But he’s gone…” The teacher placed her hands on Noelle’s shoulders, yet she didn’t move, but streams of tears flowed like waterfalls from her hazel eyes. Small hiccups turned into ugly sobs, placing a hand on her mouth in shock. Everything became blurry, her senses dulling, only her sobs could be heard.

She didn’t even get to say goodbye. 

Her father… He really was gone… 

  
  
  


**Chapter 5: Us Nobodies coming soon!**

  
  
  
  



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